It’s a narrative that’s straight out of a Shakespearean tragedy. It has happened to many of us, and it’s always unfortunate when it does. Unrequited love. It’s sad but there’s always a possibility that the people we fall in love with don’t necessarily love us in return. And if you’re lucky enough to have never experienced this emotional tragedy, then good for you. It’s devastating. It’s painful. It’s disappointing. But most of all, it’s soul-crushing. It makes you wonder whether you’re even worthy of love in the first place. It makes you question if you’re ever going to find love for yourself.
And the worst part of the whole experience is the lack of control; the uncertainty. You don’t have a full grasp of the situation and so you feel completely helpless. It’s the helplessness that really drives you nuts and it fuels a kind of passive rage within you. But again, there’s not much that you can do at that point. If someone doesn’t love you, then you can’t force them to. No matter how smart, charming, good-looking, and attractive you may think you are, it’s not going to matter if the puzzle piece won’t fit. It’s virtually impossible for you to compel another person to fall in love with you.
Love just doesn’t work like that. It’s not something that you can conjure out of thin air with sheer will. It’s a choice and a process that another person is going to have to go through for themselves; the ultimate decision always lies with them. And sometimes, they’re just not going to fall for you. And when that’s the case, you’re going to have to make the most of the situation. It’s going to be painful. And moving on isn’t going to be as easy as most people make it out to be. However, there are certain things that you can do to make the entire process easier.
There are certain tips that you can follow to help you get over this unrequited love so that you don’t end up eventually killing yourself with sadness. They say that time heals all wounds – and there is some truth to that. Time is always going to be the greatest ally on your road to recovery. Over time, you’re going to feel better – but there are certain things that you can do to expedite the process. Try to follow these 8 tips to help you get over loving someone who doesn’t love you in return:
1. Be accepting of the harsh realities of the situation.
The sooner you come to terms with the reality of your situation, the sooner you will be able to get over it. Don’t be in denial. Don’t be holding on to any false hopes. Don’t be clinging to fantasies.
2. Allow yourself to feel the sadness.
Whenever you feel like the sadness is about to hit you, then just let it flow through you. Don’t be so naïve to think that it’s going to go away if you just sweep your feelings under a rug and ignore it. It doesn’t work like that.
3. Find distractions so that you don’t end up moping all of the time.
Try to find things that you can distract yourself with. Perhaps dive deeper into your work life. Or maybe you can try taking up a new hobby so that you can challenge yourself. Stay productive so that you’re not putting your life on pause.
4. Find comfort and relief in your loved ones.
That’s what friends and family are for. You should never be afraid to turn to them whenever you’re feeling particularly vulnerable and weak. You should always be able to go to them when you feel like you’re in dire need of emotional support.
5. Learn to put things into perspective.
It’s not the end of the world. Yes, you missed out on a love that you really wanted for yourself. But that doesn’t mean that life as you know it should cease to exist. You should still be able to find things in life to be thankful for; things to be happy about.
6. Find healthy outlets to vent your anger.
Go to the gym and take your anger out on the punching bags or the barbells. Or try engaging in the artistic expressions of your pain. Don’t keep it bottled up inside or else it’s going to eat away at you.
7. Cut that person out of your life for the time being.
You’re never going to be able to move on from this person if you’re going to continue to hang around them. So cut them out of your life until you know that you’re okay; until you’ve completely gotten over the fact that you’re never going to fall in love with one another.
8. Always believe that you can still find love in the future.
And always remember that love is going to find you eventually – you just have to be patient enough to let it come when it’s meant to.