What will make you stop loving him or her?


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When we were young and exploring what love was, we had a line that went like, “Nothing will make me stop loving you.” We were young. Our hearts didn’t know the ways of love or probably, we were listening to too much love songs.

We didn’t know.

Just yesterday I overheard a girl telling someone on the other side of the phone; “You and I are forever. Nothing is going to change my love for you.”

“The kind of stupid things love makes us say,” I told myself.

A girl once wrote in a letter to me, “I can never live without you.” Today, she’s someone else’s wife. She’s no longer loving me and she’s alive and doing just fine. How stupid I was to believe her.

So I asked a friend, “What will make you stop loving him?”

She responded, “Nothing! Nothing will make me stop loving him.

I’m not a prophet but I see the future of her relationship, especially when the man starts misbehaving. She’ll be frustrated. She’ll be in emotional pain. She’ll be depressed. She’ll be bitter. She’ll be temperamental but sadly she wouldn’t know what to do because nothing will make her stop loving him.

So a friend once told me, “Marriage or love relationship is like a business. You have to go in with an exit plan. You should know all the things that will make you quit so immediately those things begin to show up, you know exactly what to do.”

She’s a married woman. So I asked her; “What’s your exit plan? What will make you stop loving him?”

She enumerated…

#1. The day he lays his hands on me, I’ll leave.

#2. If I catch him cheating with another man or woman, I’ll leave.

#3. If he stops having sex with me for three consecutive months, I’ll leave

#4. The day he suggests anal, I’ll pack and leave

#5. If he starts drinking or smoking, I won’t wait a minute.

If you go into a relationship with an exit plan, it doesn’t mean you doubt the success of the relationship or you don’t want the relationship to succeed. It only means when the ship begins to sink, you’ll save yourself first.

As a matter of principle, know what you’ll do at any given time. Don’t wait until problems come before you think of what to do. It’s hard to think clearly when you are going through hard times. Anticipate what might go wrong and plan what to do before time.

She said; “You see women hopping around on social media sharing their relationship troubles and asking for advice. They don’t know what to do because they didn’t plan what to do when shit happens. A plane has oxygen masks in case of emergency. The Titanic had a lot of boats for the days it begins to sink. Don’t wait till there’s trouble before you seek advice on what to do. The best advice you can get is the one you give yourself because no one knows you better.”

I think I agree with her

When we were young and exploring what love was, our answer used to be, “Nothing will make me stop loving him/her. Today, we are grown. We know better. So I’m asking you again, what will make you stop loving him or her?

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